It can be a strange thing to acknowledge the pressure that you can put on yourself.
It’s unfortunately easy to worry that you’re not doing everything that you could or should. Whether it’s a product of a society split by generations or not there can be this impression that if you’re not successful when you are younger then you will never be successful. As children we’re always asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”
It’s great to have goals but may I just point out:
It is ok not to know.
Maybe you just haven’t found your niche yet.
Maybe there is more than one path which will make you happy.
Sometimes I can’t help getting lost in my own head, worrying about all of the things I haven’t done yet.
I am only 22 years old.
I have time.
It is okay that I am not yet the writer that I would like to be. Being an author is all about potential.
When I worry about what I haven’t done it’s usually because I’m too focused on my short term goals. It can be helpful to plan in terms of days but it narrows down my focus a lot and anything which jolts me out of that mind-set can be extremely jarring – that’s usually where I start getting tangled up in my own head.
So, I’ve been thinking about long-term goals lately. Those ‘one day’ kind of plans that I really love to think about.
One of those goals – since I was a young teenager I’ve wanted to write a musical. At school I loved doing theatre productions (although it was the backstage moments I liked the most) and I’ve studied music at various stages before studying English and Creative Writing at university. The combination of two of my favourite things plus, the idea of doing something exciting that I have never done before is a great thought. I’ve not written anything down for this dream yet, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t think about it. Writing a musical is one of those long-term goals that’s fun to think about and toy with when I get too caught up in the short term.
I’ve received Cara’s post for the guest blog and I’m thrilled to say that it will be uploaded this Sunday. It was lovely of Cara to write something for me and I’m excited to share it. I loved talking about her idea when she was planning for it so seeing the finished post is great.
This Friday I will be attending an event (which I had a small role in helping to organise – which included creating the poster) with speakers Dr Mary Talbot and Dr Laura O’Brien and I am really looking forward to hearing them speak about Paris history, Louise Michel and the creation of a graphic novel. The event sounds so interesting.
Yesterday was world poetry day and I only wrote one piece late last night. I shared it with the Spectral Visions Press members (publishers of the Spectral Visions Press Tarot Collection) and it felt appropriate to share it with that particular group initially since that the poem felt quite gothic in nature and that is their specialty. I’d like to share it here as well.
You will have caught a glimpse
of a Kingdom, not yours,
that lies beyond the mirror
and houses creatures with claws
and eyes with almond pupils
and hair as thick as fur and
the dance is always for them
as they glide across the floor.
They bare their teeth and smile
and smile and smile until their
partner tumbles, their feet bloodied,
unable to stand any more and
they cannot find themselves,
if they ever could, in the reflections.